During Bible we started talking about the Trinity and one of my little boys became increasingly aware that we can't understand everything about our great, mysterious God. He puts his hands on his head and vents, "It just makes me want to break a pencil!"

While reading through Revelation as a class one of my girls prays, "I pray for the people in the world to be saved that they could escape this judgement that we are reading about."

Enrichment student: "When is your baby due?"
Me: "July 13th. Whether she decides to come then or not is entirely up to her though."
Enrichment student: "But isn't it up to God? Because He knows when it's done or not."

Student: "Are we watching a war movie today? Are there violins in it?"
Me: "Why do you ask?"
Student: "I just don't want you to fast forward through those parts."
Me (2 hours later): "Did you mean violence?!"

Reading a sentence about "skating on thin ice" a boy raises his hand and says, "You tell me that I do that all the time, Mrs. McKanna!"

"Mrs. McKanna, my back hurts, my stomach aches, and my hand is cramping. I think I need some Viagra." I am left trying to hold myself together behind my desk knowing that he had absolutely no idea what he just said. 

"I can't find Z in the dictionary." This is when I admit defeat as a teacher.